Good bye journal

Mood: Disappointed

My first journal of the year bit the dust. Well, not completely, but I no longer expect it to be able to hold up to the abuse it goes through. It's my own fault really. Normally I use watercolor paper for my journals. This time I chose the journal because I liked the size and shape and didn't really think too much what would happen when I coat the pages in layers of paint and gel medium.

It's such a mess. I'm not getting rid of it though because I have some really cool starter pages in it and I want to finish them out. I may incorporate them into my new journal I'm making tonight. I went the old fashioned (for me at least) way of buying a large pad of watercolor paper and cutting it down to the size and shape I want it to be. I'll post pics later.

2/08 - Journal

Mood: Excited

OMG to be free of glasses!!! I can't begin to describe the complete amazement you view the world around you when you are suddenly rid of them! I have had them since the third grade and was to the point of not being able to function without them.

I also did not realize how much my glasses hid my eyes. I have received so many compliments (now that my eyes have healed) on my eyes. They say they just never noticed them before.

Dream

In my dream...

I needed help in math. So someone from school was going to help me in the subject. I was suppose to meet him in the library. I saw him there but pretended I did not see him because I had a crush on him. He looked similar to this guy I knew in high school named Blake all grown up but his name is Seth. As I was avoiding him I decided I needed to sell the books I was carrying so I went to a counter to sell them. This is when he saw me and came over. I set my books down on a shelf and we started talking. As we are talking my youngest brother Thomas starts talking crap to some guy and it trying to pick a fight. I whip him (Thomas) around by the arm and tell him he is not allowed to act this way in a library especially not in front of people I know. He storms off. Seth and I start to walk out of the library and he puts his hand on my waist. We start walking to my mothers car as he tries to cop a feel. I pull his hand away. I we get close to the car I see mother is teaching Thomas to drive. He is making a turn and brings the nose of the car really close to a wall.

I was asleep but I woke up to the sounds of Cory's truck leaving. I am upset he did not kiss me goodbye before he left for work. Then I hear the sounds of another woman's voice. I am upset he is talking to her in the middle of the night. My phone rings and there is a voicemail from her. I get up to yell at him that it wasn't funny. At this time the phone rings again but there isn't anyone on the line. I see a little girl come to the door of my bedroom giggling. Then I hear Thomas's voice saying something stupid. I ask her if he's here and she giggles and says yes as she crawls on the bed. I get up and find Thomas sitting at a dining room table with the phone in his hand.

That's all I can remember.

Dream

I didn't sleep well last night. I kept having dreams of car crashes and police catching me for speeding. I don't remember much except for snippets of the dreams.

There was a cop on one side of the bridge on the highway. She pointed her radar at me but I was only going five over. I let off my gas petal. I was going the speed limit by the time I went under the bridge and got to the other side. There was another cop waiting but she let me pass. I then show up to a seminar of some sort and the cops are there. They start talking about this person who slowed down when they pointed their radar at them. I somehow knew they were talking about me.

In another dream...

I was in front of my high school but the streets were different. It t-boned at the in of the main street. I'm guessing this side street was where the parents were dropping off their children since it's so busy. There was a car wreck. A yellow truck hit something and it flew into the air and rolled. I can't remember if anyone was hurt just commotion afterward.

In another...

Me and some person though I have no idea who it is are chasing someman through a store sort of like Sam's. I point at him and say there he is and we start chasing after him. I can't remember why.

ATC - Snorks

Mood: Cheerful

I'm not completely happy with the color laydown on this but I'm not so unhappy I feel the need to redo it. I think I need to stick with the blender marker as opposed to the pencil. Things seem less "streaky" this way. This is one of the characters from the cartoon "Snorks" from back in the 80's.

1/8 Journal

Mood: Bored

This was my second entry into my journal for 2008. not completely thrilled with it but it's not exactly my cup of tea. I used a prompt for making the background page and I think that was my problem. I'm not a bright color person - never have been. I'm all for bold, just not bright. Besides, I normally write when I'm down or upset and these aren't really the colors that would fit one of those moods.

1/08 Journal

This was my first entry into my journal for 2008. It was suppose to look nothing like this. In fact I think it turned out to look downright HIDEOUS! I refuse to throw it out though. I think it's important not to throw your journal pages out so you can try to teach yourself that it's ok for some of the things you make to not to look pretty and perfect!

1/08 - Journal

I have trouble with feeling this way quite frequently. I can be surrounded by people who care for me and I feel completely alone. I'm not sure why. I have never really been able to connect to people very well and I have a hard time making friends. Trust issues I guess.

1/08 - Journal

I am a little disappointed with this scan. There is more depth to the colors in real life. I can't decide if I want to continue using the metalic paints. They don't come out at true when they are scanned but I love the way they look with colored pencils. I still have trouble not getting the light "aura" around the people I draw. I try to paint thicker but I guess I put less paint there unintentionally. I drew this in response to a potluck in which several people didn't participate. One person in particular upset me. It's actually a two page spread but I haven't finished the second page.